Four minutes. Approximately 240 seconds stood between handing my dogs a dinosaur toy and there being a sea of stuffing on my living room.
I felt dreadful. Typically, I buy Phoebe and Frank cheap stuffed toys because I know they’ll get destroyed – like this hamburger. But the Stegosaurus toy was almost to cute to give them, with his little stitched face and felt spines.
Mr Stegosaurus was from B&M, and the adorable toys cost £4 each. I had high hopes for his tough skin, but alas, before even giving the Scamps their new toy, he’d suffered a wound. The plastic tags that affixed the information pierced a small hole on his side, but it did mean there was some stuffing spillage already – and a weak spot Phoebe would find in no time.
I gave Phoebe and Frank their Stegosaurus toys and observed their varying tactics to make dinosaurs extinct. Frank plucked his felt spines from his back which weakened the stitching, but it was Phoebe who was fastest at destuffing the dino. She found the squeaker right away, and got straight to work at disassembling the toy from the neck stitching down. It took her just four minutes to completely destuff the toy, whilst Frank was still working on making a bigger hole through which to pull the stuffing. Before long, he’d managed it, and there was chunks of fluff in both their beds, under the TV stand and all over the rug.
Frank was so obsessed with his dinosaur, he passed up his tea and we had to stop Phoebe pinching it. When he realised that the Stegosaurus was, in fact, absolutely obliterated, he did go and eat his kibble, because clearly pretending to be a character in Jurassic Park was hungry work.